6 Week Maternity Leave or Not enough time

To all the mothers who had to go back to work after 6 weeks (heck, I have one friend who went back after two weeks), I embrace your courage and my heart is broken for you. 

I purposely took a 6 week break from this blog and then needed another 6 weeks because I did go back to work and found I didn't have a second to get back to this blog post until now 20 weeks later.  For me, it's a part of the "BUT-THEN EFFECT" which I wrote about here in this blog.

There is a lot of conversation around maternity leave.  1 year, 6 months, 6 weeks?  Paid vs. unpaid? Even in generous circumstances, in America, it seems like you don’t get much of anything, and we’re not even going to touch PATERNITY leave.

If you know me, you know I’m a filmmaker.  *See my award winning film The Other One on Amazon or Hulu.

The reason for the shameless plug is because in my career I’ve met many awesome female filmmakers, and one is doing a great documentary on this exact topic.  The title is called ZEROWEEKS, directed by Ky Dickens.

It’s an apt title.

I’m a working mom with a most unusual profession during the first year of my babe’s life.  I am touring in my tiny house on wheels called the #TinyLab and sharing it in 20+ cities all over the United States, until Jan. 2017.  The nationwide tour is called Proof is Possible.

My hours during our “on” weeks don’t stop, and then often on our “off” weeks we’re driving to the next location or trying to catch up on business/life things like bookkeeping, promotion, and dealing with all the little bosses in our lives from this tour.  It doesn’t leave you with much time and it’s very hard, but it’s also very magical.

And remember, I do all of this while my baby is with me. 

I AM SO LUCKY.  I have been able to be there for her comfort, her nutrition, for her giggles, first rolls, sitting up, flinging herself around trying to stand up, and all the other fun milestones that happen in the beginning of her life. 

Some think it’s cruel, others think it’s amazing, everyone has an opinion, but it’s working for us and that’s all that matters.  We have a very happy, healthy baby.

So back to maternity leave.  I don’t think little to no weeks works for anyone.  Can we all help each other out on this one?  As we come into an election year let’s elect people who care about the family and women’s rights. 

Voting for Hillary Clinton is a vote for her broad stance on this for all families, regardless of income.  This year it has obviously hit home for me in the most intimate way. 

But let’s get real for a second.  She would just be the President.  Lots of people need to be elected to help her achieve these goals, Democrats, Republican, and Libertarian alike.  Research.  Stand up for the future by investing in the health of mommas and babies.  They need time to be together and we need to give it to them.

Here’s an easy link to help you research elected officials.  Go educate yourself and vote or stand to the side and don’t complain.

National Organization for Women PAC Endorsement Guide

Note, this is just one source many more endorsements are out there.

Water, Water Everywhere, but not the water you'd think. The story of my Waters Breaking, all three of them.

THE FIRST WATER

Close to my first due date (Confused by what I mean? Check out my post on that topic here.)  I woke up in the middle of the night with the feeling of my "water breaking."  It wasn't a big gush, but more of an uncontrollable trickle, maybe a cup or cup and half.

There was a little blood and cervical fluid too, so I called the midwife and was told to lay down, relax, do a fetal kick count, and come in the next morning to see if it was indeed amniotic fluid.  If it was, I would need to go into labor in the next 12 hours to keep things progressing well and lower my risk of infection.

The next morning, after a swab, cough, and conversation with my experienced midwife I learned that my Chorionic sac broke, but my Amniotic sac was still in place and good to go.

WAIT, WHAT?!? WHAT IS THE CHORIONIC SAC? 

Here's a groovy animated video that takes you right through the development of the chorionic sac:

I really enjoyed researching during the journey of my pregnancy.  My husband and I even took a 30-hour, 10-week class to prep for this and neither one of us really remembered, nor imprinted the possibility of False Rupture Of Membranes (FROM.) Premature Rupture of Membranes, YES, but False, NO.

Interestingly, FROM does not seem to be unusual. But the minimal documentation of it, the lack of awareness in mothers, and the anticipation of labor and fear of infection all seems to lead many Moms into early induction when this happens.

THE SECOND WATER

Days go by, and no more water.  Other early labor signs were beginning to happen (Braxton-Hicks Contractions, stopped gaining weight, the lovely bowel good times), but they were all so spaced out that for two weeks I felt like "today's going to be the day," and then maybe a hint at something, but certainly no onset of labor.

No big deal right?  Well, big deal if you're wanting to the have a birth at a Birth Center under the supervision of Midwives.  In Florida, if you don't go into labor by the day of 42 weeks then you have two options.

1. The legally preferred method is to go to a hospital and start the induction drip.  
2. The second and legally stupid option is to have a home birth, all by yourself.  Who writes these laws?

Yep, Midwives are legally prohibited from attending home births after 42 weeks in Florida.

So in addition to the exciting anticipation, (remember things WERE happening,) by the 48 hour count down to the 42nd week date, I was beginning to freak out.  I'm already an emotionally open person, and in pregnancy, esp. when close to labor, you want to remain calm and stress-free.  My baby was healthy (a fetal kick count champ) and I was healthy, good blood pressure, the works, so why did some legislators feel like they have a better idea of what my body can and should be doing?

Still no labor 24 hours later.

Castor oil and Talenti Chocolate Ice Cream are then purchased and combined into a delicious milkshake- a milkshake that tastes like lipstick.

The rumble in my bowels helped my little lady know it was time get the show on the road.  By 4pm, I was having trouble focusing and feeling more intense contraction so I laid down and then felt another trickle.  This time we went back to the Birth Center and the water was Amniotic.

So, no Hollywood gush.  More water was released as labor started really progressing, but...

If I had been misdiagnosed and not as eager to let my baby lead labor, versus me, I would have been given Pitocin and gone into labor 9 days sooner than I did.  I'm sure my baby would have been fine, she was well into term, but babies start labor because they are ready to come out.  Nanette was 7 pounds and 13 ounces, not too big or too small, just right and ready to come when she wanted to.

It scares me to think what would have happened to both me and her if we had tried to rush things, if we had accepted the 40 week mark as gospel.

For those wondering, she arrived at 42 weeks to the day, by one of the due date estimates, and 42 weeks and 3 days, by the next, or 9 days late by another.  Maybe I'm a slow cooker, maybe genetically that's how long our babies will take, but I'll tell you one thing about the next time I get pregnant,  I will be a bit more mendacious when it comes to reporting the last day of my period.   

Here's an interesting study about the kinds of waters and types of leaks. 

FALSE Vs. TRUE RUPTURE OF MEMBRANES

THE THIRD WATER

I did successfully give birth in water and it certainly was one of the most amazing, indescribable moments of my life.  I'm still working on the full story of the birth but I do intend to share that with you all soon.

Links-
http://tinyhousetinyhuman.blogspot.com/2016/02/whats-in-due-date.html
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/266402008_False_vs_True_rupture_of_membranes

The "BUT THEN" effect

Hello world!  Fellow mothers who read my previous posts and encouraged me.  Family who have read with intrigue on this journey I've been on, friends, fans, and complete strangers who still kinda feel like friends because of this virtual companionship we have created across multiple platforms.

I'm back! But then... I never really left.

Recently, one of my friends posted on her Fb Timeline.

Too. Many. Things.

That is a direct give away to the "But Then" effect.  Here's how it goes.

I gave birth to my child and wanted to share the amazing joy I felt with the world, but then I was on bed rest for two weeks afterwards (completely supine.)  Try laying down completely, put your laptop in your lap, and type.  Not sitting up partially, but down, I tell you, lay down.  It's tough.

I slowly got back on my feet without blacking out and hobbling, BUT then my daughter went through her first cluster feeding and my "to-do" list got put down so I could feed her which required not only attention but two hands.

We moved our Tiny House out of the yard onto the street and I got ready to share more of that with you all, BUT THEN my father in law shaved off his finger tips makings chocks for the road.

I'm sure you see my point.

BUT THEN my daughter's poop shot out the back of her pants and my husband freaked out...

BUT THEN we had to pack up the tiny house and hit the road...

BUT THEN I had to record a VO audition, answer three out of my three hundred e-mails BUT THEN I didn't get to those because after nursing my child I swore I'd close my eyes for just 10 minutes and then we both passed out for two hours.

What I was able to do was jot down the titles for the blogs I dreamt about, wrote in my head while nursing, and felt like I really wanted to share.

I think as a society we need to give more attention to the BUT THEN effect and maybe give each other all a break.  ALSO... I think we as Mothers shouldn't give ourselves a hard time and shouldn't let things go either because of the BUT THEN delay in the time that is created from the aforementioned effect.

Going through the Bradley Method class, preparing for natural childbirth, going through it beautifully, and needing some ER attention where I thankfully was conscious because I had to defend myself in my own surgery (more on that later) I was baffled that there wasn't a class action lawsuit against the modern medical industry from Mothers constantly being bullied into inductions, c-sections, and procedures they didn't want BUT THEN I realized this BUT THEN effect won't really allow for that to happen.

What am learning from being consumed by the BUT THEN effect?  That I need to give myself time to do the things I need to do for my own health and sanity too.  

I needed to reply to five e-mails BUT THEN I decided to write a blog, release, connect and maintain my sanity so that I don't resent those e-mails, my child, my husband, or the world.  

This effect isn't going to go away but I'm learning to own it.  Hopefully this might help you relax a bit and own it too.  I think there may be another name for this effect too.  LIFE.

What's in a DUE DATE?

My husband, a first born, was 30 days over due, something that would never be allowed today, and for many good reasons, but none the less late, very healthy, I think he's a genius, and asking around I've discovered that kind of lateness, 30 days, isn't that uncommon.   I, a second born, was one day early.

Today I am coming closer and closer to hitting the two weeks over mark with Baby Lunsford, and no, I am not going to tell that date/ date range.

So what's in a DUE DATE?

1. The estimated due date (EDD) was established by Dr Naegele, a German obstetrician in the early 1800s, 200 years ago.  He declared that a pregnancy “should last ten moon months, that is, ten months of four weeks each.” Calculated at forty weeks from the date of your last period, the due date is based on the assumption that you have a regular 28 day cycle, and conceived 14 days after the first day of your period.
2. Another theory for dating was to calculate from the known date of conception, but there's a potential for little boys to be conceived faster than little girls, due to male sperm dying out before female sperm that could remain in cervical fluid for longer and give a greater margin of error. 
3. A study of US. mothers showed the average pregnancy length for first-time white mothers was 274 days (41 weeks and one day) from ovulation. Black women, women younger than 19 and older than 34, women with previous births and women pregnant with boy babies all tend to have shorter pregnancies.

So "technically" according to the scientific assumption of modern medicine along with current studies of the length of uncomplicated human gestation, there are potentially three dues dates.

BUT... everyone knows, a baby is going to come when a baby comes, so what's the big deal?  

The big deal is there are two complicating factors- LEGALITY and FEAR.

LEGALITY

We love to make things clear and concise, to say this is the WAY. It is black or white.  Contracts, courts, and insurance companies are not interested in the gray.

If you've been reading my blog, you'll know I am a big fan of midwife Ina May Gaskin.  In Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and manifesto, Birth Matters, induction of labor in the US has shown to have doubled during the 1990s from about 10% to about 20%, in large part because of the introduction of a new range of induction drugs.

Hospitals and Doctors are bound to enormous insurance pressures and 42 weeks has become considered "overdue enough" before greater risk should be taken.  

Birth Centers and Midwifery Clinics have laws imposed on them, by states, that should a mother go beyond 42 weeks, the mother is now required to give birth in a hospital.  Of course there's some wiggle room, but this over rides the natural principle of letting baby come when it wants to, and instead of being 14 days overdue, if one was to follow the modern study and law of averages mentioned above, mothers and midwives are only given 6 days to go overdue before being legally commanded to go to the hospital. 

Currently up to a third of pregnancies are induced, despite World Health Organization recommendations that “no geographic region should have rates of induced labor over 10%.”  When my husband was born the rate was 5%.  The current national averages are below in the following graph. 

Despite years of increasing, the rate of inductions HAS gone down (however slightly) in recent years, for some groups of gestational and maternal age as seen HERE and in the tables below.

FEAR

Notice the earlier sections in the first graph.  

The increase in inductions are among younger women.

The decrease in inductions grow the closer you get to full term in every age group.

The study doesn't go into it, but being a first time pregnant lady, I have a hunch.  FEAR.  

You're young, BIG, everyone is getting anxious, you've never squeezed anything "baby size" out of your lady parts, and the 3D technician just told you you're going to have a BIG Baby.

I have a hard time believing any first time mother would be excited for a C-section, though Brazil dictates otherwise.  And I don't have a hard time believing that every first time mother is at least a little scared.  We've never done this, most of us have never seen it, there's been very little popular/mainstream education about this topic, and a national pastime of America is to share horror stories.

So that's my hypothesis.  Women can and are being bullied by a complex host of fears into inductions and then they are being told there was no other way.  I know that can be the truth for some women, but I also truly believe that percentage of women is very low.

BUT... I don't believe those fears are nearly as strong as the fears I have about being induced.  Why?  Because I have an inquiring mind and wanted to know what those drugs would do to me for the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Women have been having babies for eons, so why do we need SO MUCH HELP now?

The myriad of medications and modern protocols can easily set you on a slippery slope towards complications for not only the mother but also the baby.  

 Did you know Maternal Death is on a RISE in the U.S. and there is little being done about?

Do the research.  It's more than I have time for in my blog, and you shouldn't just take my word.  But know there are particular concerns regarding maternal and infant death as well as developmental delays due to not allowing the natural hormones in a woman's body to take their time orchestrating the complex composition a mother's body is performing for her AND the baby.  I'm going to go back to BIRTH MATTERS now and encourage everyone who cares about the future of mothers in the U.S. to read it. 

AGAIN,  if you've read my blog, you'll know I'm not ANTI induction.  My husband is alive today because of the magical effect of Pitocin and a C-section.  It is amazing technology and has certainly saved lives, but where does one draw the line?  In Brazil that line has been crossed so far, there are couples coming to America not to have "US citizen births," but to have birth naturally.

So the Big Deal with my due date range now is that people are asking "what's wrong?"

I am healthy.  

I have had a very uncomplicated pregnancy.  

I have had a long slow early start to labor.  

I have a very active baby in my belly.  

I am resting, walking, eating, laughing, and hydrating.

I am anxious, but I am not going to rush this baby. 

There are no signs that anything is wrong, only signs that things have started and the orchestra that is my body is taking it's time warming up, tuning up, and preparing to await the Tiny Conductor's cue to begin.

"Tiny" just might be an irrelevant adjective by the time we meet her/him.

Young women, new mothers, and the general public need a good foundational understanding of birth AND a good understanding of modern and midwifery medical practices.  Here's a great TED Talk to start with.

Do no harm. A Tiny Test and my big decision to waive antibiotics at birth.

We're almost there!  Signs of arrival have begun, 

so I will be ducking out soon to lay in with our baby.

Today's topic: DO NO HARM.

In your 37/38th week of pregnancy, you do a little test, with a little swab to see if you have a little colony in your nether regions called Group B Strep.

What? Strep in your nether regions? Like Strep throat?

Kind of, but this is just one of the many kinds of bacteria that are down there.  Unfortunately, while it rarely causes problems for the mother, it could be cause for concern with the babe.

Those who give birth vaginally and test positive have for many years been given a round of antibiotics at or just before birth, and same goes for baby (they share a bloodstream).

Why?  Because the theory is that if you can kill all the bacteria down there then you can eliminate ANY chance of the GBS passing to the baby.  But is this accurate? Or is it more of a lets cover our bases approach?

Well, I tested positive.

I got the news, beat myself up a bit, cried, and then spent the rest of the day digging even deeper into the research I had already glanced at.

I already knew Ina May Gaskin's thoughts, (certain births and babies are more susceptible and antibiotics come with their own problems, plus they didn't prove to work as promised) but what were other midwives and Doctors saying?  What about other mothers?  Was there anything else that could be done to prevent my positive diagnosis from becoming a problem?

After searching around I thought Wellness Mama had the best and most simply understood approach to helping prevent GBB and minimizing/eliminating the colony so you test negative.  She's also great at pointing to the research in her article that helped her come to a decision on natural alternative and waiving the antibiotics.  One note: when going down the research tunnel, don't spend too much time in the comments sections. People are very passionate about this topic (as they should be) but sometimes it gets downright mean.

Am I anti-Modern Medicine?  NO.  When I got the influenza virus coming back from Sundance and only having 4 days before I had to get back on another plane to go to another conference, I know I wouldn't have made it with out Tamiflu!  

I also had a lot of Strep throat as a child and was given a lot of penicillin, until finally they removed my tonsils and the strep throat pretty much never came back.  Take that for what it's worth, but my point is NO I am not against antibiotics.

Am I against interfering with the earliest of digestive and nervous systems that I have been growing, protecting and taking very good care of for the last 9 months?  YES.

Here's the bottom line with GBS, from my POV.

• Even if you test negative, you could still be positive at the time of birth.
• This is a much more common bacteria than people realize.
• The incidence of babies contracting the bacteria and becoming severely ill is much lower than the blanket antibiotic treatment recommended by most Doctors.
• Babies who are preterm, underweight, and born long after the mothers' water breaks into dry environments have a greater chance of contracting the bacteria. 

Again, the above are just a few factors, but it was enough for me to waive the antibiotics.  I've been on a natural protocol to eliminate/minimize GBS and I will be vigilant after giving birth.  Signs of the blood infection occur early on and usually in the first three months and the signs are clear.  At the first sign of any of them my Pediatrician will be consulted.

For a WELL RESEARCHED ARTICLE with much more information read on here: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/treating-gbs-group-b-strep-are.html

Home Stretch, Stretch Baby Stretch, and Dear God, Please Stretch!

Wanting to have a natural birth and preparing to have a natural birth, are two entirely different things.  I have learned so much, know I still have a long way to go, but more importantly, can't imagine not learning what I have learned and then not trying for a natural birth.

Sure, birth can and certainly does still happen for women everyday without much prep or forethought, and there are many qualified and capable midwives and doctors helping women do that, but I'm a commitment freak.  When I say I'm going to do something, I like to jump in all the way and know all I can.  No judgements.  This is just how I'm rolling.

Just as the modern medical profession has researched for years and found out that babies shouldn't be separated from their mothers, and skin to skin contact is best, midwives and doulas who have witnessed many more natural births, have really figured out some great protocols to help prep a gal for giving birth.  Now, just a few days away from mine, I'm sharing with you what I have been doing to "train" for my birth.

Building a Tiny House and a Tiny Human both require a little more time and attention to detail.

HOME STRETCH PROTOCOLS

So what protocols am I doing?

DIET
From the beginning of knowing I was pregnant, around 6 weeks for me,  I first had a minor panic attack because I had just returned from the Cannes Film Festival and you pretty much can't make it through the day without at least 3-5 glasses of wine... and a couple of cocktails... and a few flutes of champagne. 

Oh, no!  I'm making a lush of a Baby before I even knew I was pregnant.  Thankfully, my first lesson in the miracle of divine intervention was this...

The Yolk Sac!

Fortunately, God knows you're not going to be conscious of the wee one until you start feeling it's effects and can be more mindful, so.... the yolk sac feeds and protects your baby during those super crucial first cellular splits.  No booze can make it's way in there, the baby is simply not connected to you yet.

But after confirming my little bud, I said good bye to a few things.  

Coffee- Which was hard, not because of caffeine withdrawals, but because I'm one of those people who LOOVES it.  I can taste the difference between instant and a fresh pour-over, and ADORE the nostalgia of a hot cup of Joe in the morning.

So... I switched to Decaf occasionally, but mostly began drinking herbal teas.

Alcohol- Again, I'm not a lush, though my industry calls for it sometimes.  I do however LOVE a good glass of red wine.  My husband doesn't drink, so when we indulge in a bottle, I get to have the whole thing to myself! Yippee! 

I know you can have a glass every now and then during a pregnancy, but I'm not good at having just one glass.

So... I only have A GLASS of wine at a restaurant.  Surprisingly, I've definitely had less than nine glasses over the last nine months, with out much effort.  But I have definitely said "I miss wine" many more times than that.  

I also started saying hello to...

Protein- Of course we all know protein is an important component of any diet, but did you know you should be trying to get 100 grams of protein a day!  It's actually kind of tricky.  Now in the home stretch I am upping the red meat and eggs- about 6 a day to not only boost my protein, but boost iron and vitamin K in my diet as well.  ESPECIALLY since we are waiving the immediate vitamin K shot and opting for oral drops instead.

SUPPLEMENTS
A not so TINY regimen of supplements as follows: 

• Metagenics Prenatal Vitamins- (which I started taking pretty early, an upgrade from my whole foods generic prenatal that I began taking as soon as we decided to start trying for a baby.)
• Vitamin D- an additional 3000 IU per day to take me up to 4000 IU (I maybe should have started this sooner, but didn't until about 29 weeks.)

Starting in the Third Trimester I began incorporating...

1. Alfalfa- This is an Ina May Gaskin recommendation for those annoying digestive issues, but also for helping on a variety of levels including upping your Vitamin K levels and supporting nursing.
2. Primrose Oil- This is known as a cervical ripening agent and advised to take in the 3rd Trimester.  It's and old standby in the midwifery world.  In your last 4 weeks, my midwives suggested vaginal application as well.  Puncture 3 pills with a clean needle and place them as close to your cervix as possible.
3. 5W- Similar to Third Trimester Tea this herbal supplement is known for helping tone the uterus and prepares your body for birth with the following herbs: Black Cohosh Root, Sqawvine Whole Root, Dong Quai Root, Butcher's Broom Root, and Red Raspberry Leaf.  
   
4. Third Trimester Tea- This is actually quite tasty and I haven't needed any sweetener to go along with it.  This Tea also helps tone the uterus but also has lots of vitamin and mineral properties to help nurture your growing wee one, who takes it's biggest growth spurts in the home stretch. 
5. Probiotics-  I like to eat my probiotics.  Kefir is delicious, the variety of Kombucha is outstanding these days and yogurt and sour kraut are my friends, BUT at 36 weeks, my iron test came back low 9.7, which is kind of a big deal because the state of Florida won't let you give birth in a Birth Center unless you hit the minimum of 10.  After review of my diet, (y'all I drink Black Strap Molasses at breakfast) we decided my gut just isn't doing it's job of absorbing the iron.  So... I just finished Garden of Life's FIVE day Max Care of Probiotics and am following that up with a Dr. Formulated Once Daily Ultra.  Here's to absorption.  :)  As a side note- I think I will keep up the probiotic supplementation and would certainly do so for my next pregnancy.  It's a bit of an investment, but certainly one that's worth it.
6. Dates-  Not only are the romantic kind good for going into labor, (in addition to the resource link below, midwives have reported that couples who keep up their sex lives through pregnancy go into labor more easily and near their due date than those who don't) eating Dates are good for cervical ripening as well!  I could have put this in the Diet section above, but it's been shown to help from weeks 37 on, so I've been thinking of it as a supplement more than diet, especially since it calls for 6 dates a day.
7. Iron- Do not rely solely on iron supplements to get your iron.  Why?  Because your bathroom time will become not so much fun.  My iron always tests a little low though, so at least one tablet in addition a day helps to get my numbers up.  BTW- The probiotics and additional iron tablet helped get me to 11.3 by 37.5 weeks.

STRETCH BABY STRETCH

EXERCISE
I loved being a city girl because you HAD to walk everywhere and I was an avid biker, cycling pretty regularly up into my 6th month.  Now that I'm in Florida I'm loving the good weather and being on my in-laws YMCA membership.

I practiced Bikram in Chicago through the 6th month and now I'm hitting regular yoga classes three times a week and jumping in the pool for a good 30 laps and a ballet bar.  So here's my standing bow at 38 weeks.  I can't believe how my body has changed and am proud to still be standing strong.

I'm also doing inversions.  These are like little headstands, but you're on your forearms-not your head and your knees are on a bed or couch.  Regular inversions have been proven to get your baby in the right position for natural birth. While my baby is head down, it likes to snuggle it's nose against the inside of my hip instead of back towards my sitz bones, so we've added in Rebozo sifting as well.  Check out the Spinning Babies website for more helpful techniques to get your babe in the cozy and right place for birth.

DEAR GOD, PLEASE STRETCH!

BIRTH

I am a trained dancer and for me, birth feels a lot like preparing for a performance.  There's all kinds of choreography to learn, but this is a modern dance piece and often you will need to go where the movement leads you, so prepare to improvise!

Improvising means prepping your body and mind to STRETCH.

Prepping my body has meant regular light exercise, chiropractic alignment treatments, hip massage, perineal massage, staying hydrated, and planning for a water birth.

Prepping my mind, has meant reading lots of natural birth stories, talking to any moms who can share their own experience (Please feel free to share yours below), and watching positive births online.  I wish I could have joined someone for their birth and really witnessed it first hand, but our society isn't set up that way, and I get it.

COMMON SENSE, OR DIGESTED KNOWLEDGE HELPING ME TO KNOW BETTER

I have a new common sense about birth in our nation, as a modern woman, and soon to be mom.

We have evolved into the physical humans we are today after about 100-600 thousand years, depending on which preserved bones you care to acknowledge.  We have been giving birth successfully all of those years, but now live very differently from the way our ancestors did.

My field to plow is a laptop.  I sit for hours each day and rarely squat for any reason.  It's really no wonder that the average gestation for birth has increased to 41 weeks and a day.

In more active days, sans automobiles and immobile careers, the Baby would have more opportunity to drop down into engagement and the pressure of the baby's head would naturally soften and stretch the cervix.

Since we don't live this way, I'm augmenting with the primrose oil and dates.  I'm making sure I get in good walks every day, and try to do deep squats when I pet my cats or meditate.  Really, I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain, I talk with God regularly and instead of getting on my knees, getting into a squat is certainly serving a divine purpose.  It really helps stretch out those charlie horses too!

We'll see how it all goes, any day now.  In the meantime, I'm keeping up the protocols and trying to be conscious about how they are or are not working for me, so I can continue to be mindful on the next go around.  

DID I MENTION I'M A TRAINED DANCER, SINGER, AND ACTOR?  

It's true.  I am NO MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.  I like to explore, research, and make my own informed decisions based on many other's medical opinions.  I encourage you to do the same.  Here's a bunch of resources I have found helpful.

RESOURCE LINKS-

The Yolk Sac- http://www.innovateus.net/innopedia/what-function-yolk-sac
Coffee- http://www.mamanatural.com/coffee-while-pregnant/
Wine- http://www.bjog.org/details/news/2085661/Danish_studies_suggest_low_and_moderate_drinking_in_early_pregnancy_has_no_adver.html
Protein- http://www.bradleybirth.com/diet.aspx
Alfalfa- http://wellnessmama.com/188/alfalfa-herb-profile/
5W- http://www.naturessunshine.com/us/product/5-w-100-caps/1120/
Third Trimester Tea- http://earthmamaangelbaby.com/products/organic-third-trimester-pregnancy-tea
ProBiotics- http://www.gardenoflife.com/Products-for-Life/Dr-Formulated/Dr-Formulated-Once-Daily-Ultra.aspx
Dates Romantic- http://www.womens-health.co.uk/inducing-labor-through-sexual-intercourse.html
Dates Delicious- http://jmrh.mums.ac.ir/article_2772_0.html
Natural Inductions- http://avivaromm.com/labor-induction-low-natural-approaches-midwife-md
Inversions- http://spinningbabies.com/start/in-pregnancy/daily-activities/
Perineal Massage- http://www.babycenter.com/404_can-perineal-massage-help-me-avoid-an-episiotomy_1955.bc

NEXT TIME ON TINY HOUSE, TINY HUMAN....

I tested positive for GBS and negative for any VDs.  Still the CDC recommends my baby and myself to be hit with rounds of antibiotics.  We've decided against this and I'll tell you why...

Is this your FIRST BABY?

Why yes, Thank you for asking.  This is my first baby!

Why make a post about this?  Because despite all the posts on the internet about what not to say to pregnant women, I have enjoyed being asked this question and take it as a sign of progress in our society.

I know some people had written me and my husband off, thinking we were just going to be that cool couple with big bank accounts and trips to Europe, instead of kiddos.  BTW- We do still plan to be those people, we'll just have a baby strapped to us and will be hitting 20 cities from a #TinyLab first. ;)

But back to the first baby questions.  

This is actually the number one question I receive, and I LOVE IT.  

For years, the news has put out all kinds of fear mongering, hateful articles about women in their 30's and, heaven forbid, their 40's trying to get pregnant and have babies.

Weird that healthy fertile women would be questioned about their ability to get pregnant and have babies, right?  I certainly thought so.  It's definitely not an exclusive thing for teens and twenties.

But in all of my father's well intentioned attempts to encourage me to have children, over the 10 years of marriage to my husband, he sent me article after article, from major publications, about how waiting was just wrong.  It was dangerous, it was stupid, and I'd probably not be able to get pregnant, when I wanted to, if I waited.

Did you know some medical professionals even refer to pregnancies after the age of 35 as geriatric? Yep. Geriatric.

Then... My sister sent me this glorious article, written by the well researched Jean Twenge, who found herself in a similar situation as me- a victim of well intention of forced upon baby panic because she was in her 30's wanting to have kids.

This article is not short, and for good reason.  It is well worth the read and well worth talking about.  I'll keep this short so you can check it out.

HOW LONG CAN YOU WAIT TO HAVE A BABY?

Millions of women are being told when to get pregnant based on statistics from a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment.

I rest my case.  I thank, everyone who enthusiastically ask if this is my first, like it is an obvious choice, and make no assumptions that I am not a geriatric pregnant woman.

Also, for fellow 30/40 somethings trying to get pregnant.  Once I figured out how to get pregnant, not the practice, but the real mechanics of it, we we're pregnant with in 6 months of trying.  I just celebrated my 35th birthday too.

I really loved the Kindara App and think their new Wink thermometer will really help women take control of their fertility, and the book Taking Control of Your Fertility is awesome.

Good Luck!
Don't Stress!
Remember, you've got this!
And enjoy the baby making!