I'm back! But then... I never really left.
Recently, one of my friends posted on her Fb Timeline.
Too. Many. Things.
That is a direct give away to the "But Then" effect. Here's how it goes.
I gave birth to my child and wanted to share the amazing joy I felt with the world, but then I was on bed rest for two weeks afterwards (completely supine.) Try laying down completely, put your laptop in your lap, and type. Not sitting up partially, but down, I tell you, lay down. It's tough.
I slowly got back on my feet without blacking out and hobbling, BUT then my daughter went through her first cluster feeding and my "to-do" list got put down so I could feed her which required not only attention but two hands.
We moved our Tiny House out of the yard onto the street and I got ready to share more of that with you all, BUT THEN my father in law shaved off his finger tips makings chocks for the road.
I'm sure you see my point.
BUT THEN my daughter's poop shot out the back of her pants and my husband freaked out...
BUT THEN we had to pack up the tiny house and hit the road...
BUT THEN I had to record a VO audition, answer three out of my three hundred e-mails BUT THEN I didn't get to those because after nursing my child I swore I'd close my eyes for just 10 minutes and then we both passed out for two hours.
What I was able to do was jot down the titles for the blogs I dreamt about, wrote in my head while nursing, and felt like I really wanted to share.
I think as a society we need to give more attention to the BUT THEN effect and maybe give each other all a break. ALSO... I think we as Mothers shouldn't give ourselves a hard time and shouldn't let things go either because of the BUT THEN delay in the time that is created from the aforementioned effect.
Going through the Bradley Method class, preparing for natural childbirth, going through it beautifully, and needing some ER attention where I thankfully was conscious because I had to defend myself in my own surgery (more on that later) I was baffled that there wasn't a class action lawsuit against the modern medical industry from Mothers constantly being bullied into inductions, c-sections, and procedures they didn't want BUT THEN I realized this BUT THEN effect won't really allow for that to happen.
What am learning from being consumed by the BUT THEN effect? That I need to give myself time to do the things I need to do for my own health and sanity too.
I needed to reply to five e-mails BUT THEN I decided to write a blog, release, connect and maintain my sanity so that I don't resent those e-mails, my child, my husband, or the world.
This effect isn't going to go away but I'm learning to own it. Hopefully this might help you relax a bit and own it too. I think there may be another name for this effect too. LIFE.