You're "Losing it!"

I don't have to imagine that some people thought we were crazy when in addition to thinking about building the Tiny House to take on the road, we then announced we were pregnant too.  I saw it on their face clear as day.

Some souls were bold enough to utter the words too.

The funny thing is, for the first time in my life, I have a clear-"ish" view of my schedule until January 2017.  Yes, there's a new babe arriving soon, and a 20 city tour, but as an actress (my full time profession up until this point) I have always had to go with the flow.  You never know what's coming next, when you need to be where, and who you'll be working for.  Unless you get cast in a play, rarely do you know when the next job is coming along.  You live by faith and American Express.

Here's that side of my life.  Home Diagnosis and Ms. Tiny Detective will definitely keep me acting on the road next year and certainly I'll continue doing Voice-Over.  I've got wonderful clients and love that technology allows me to patch in to work with them whenever!

Now, I have all kinds of deadlines and it's making me a little crazy.  I'm actually excited to have the unpredictability of a baby to keep me sane.  Ha!

But "Losing It" also has new meaning for me as I read one birth experience after another.  Whether from hippies giving birth in the caravan- letting out their inner "monkey", to executives who came down to The Farm to have a natural childbirth, or to my cousin telling me about her preference to not have anyone bother her so she could go to her "inner place," to a dear friend who graciously shared her birth stories with me about being in the tub for hours and finally giving birth on her hands and knees.

I know I'm going to have to "let go" and let my body take over if I want the natural childbirth I'm hoping for.  Letting go can be scary, but from what I've read, it can also be the most mind expanding experience of my life.

My grandmother used to say, "Let Go, and Let God."  I can't really imagine anything closer to God than bringing a new human into the world.

While I haven't had the more common experience of seeing women give birth (something I imagine most women from 1850's prior had seen, at least a few times, by the time they were giving birth themselves) I am grateful for literature, tales from you, My Momoo's words, and youtube to help guide me.

So here I share with you my most favorite water birth that I have seen out there- The Water Birth of Ibis.  This woman is a seasoned professional and you can really see the relaxation and letting go she experiences as she lets her body birth her child.  Her joy, her other young children witnessing the birth, and the natural delivery of the child were big inspirations for Corbett and I to choose a water birth for ourselves.

Be inspired, humbled, and amazed.

Did you lose it?

Did you wish you could have lost yourself more to the experience?  What did you find work for you in your births?  What didn't work?  From what I can tell there's no wrong answer and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Enfamil, Thanks, but no Thanks

In a very generous marketing campaign, Enfamil sent me this...

Thanks Enfamil, but I didn't give you my mailing address, though I'm sure Target or Amazon has some deal with you to obtain the Baby Registry addresses, but more importantly what are you trying to say?

Having had big breasts since I was 13, (yes, there were many teasing conversations like "This is an A, B, conversation so C your way out of it...")  I am SO excited to have new purpose for them that is so magical and life giving!  So Enfamil, why are you trying to take that away from me and other women before we have even started?

It is so common to ask pregnant women "IF" they are going to breastfeed.  Of course I'm going to breast feed!  I'm making a baby and that's part of the deal.  I want all the goodness of this experience, the hormones, the bonding, the assist in weight loss, the immunity for me and the baby, the assist in eating, the cost effective nature of breast feeding, the full experience.

But Grace, Enfamil, if just being nice.  Why are you so put off by this way better than a coupon gift?

Because here's what I know, thanks to my and other mama's to be mentor, Midwife, Ina May Gaskin.

• Most of the baby's first 48 hours are going to be spent sleeping. 
• Small amounts of colostrum (which at 34 weeks is already leaking out a little on it's own) will satisfy your healthy full term baby's need for liquid, so there is no need for extra nourishment.  
• Sugar water, formula, ect. can actually interfere with the initiation of breastfeeding.  
• Even if the baby is born a little early (35-39 weeks) and may need supplementation, it should still be colostrum from breasts.
• The use of a bottle, in those early days, can interfere with sucking mechanics.
• Many babies aren't born hungry.
• Newborns always lose weight in the first three to four days of life.
• Nature prepares newborns for birth by filling their liver and other vital organs with enough nutrition in the form of glycogen to sustain the baby for two or three days.
• True hunger comes in on day three or four, just when the milk supply starts to come in too.

And because here's what I can also imagine happens to new moms and dads who are stressed out, tired, not to mention in awe and fear at the same time.  "The baby is not eating enough and sleeping too much!"  Quick make up a bottle!

Society has already placed the fear (even in my mind) that many new Moms just aren't "good" at breast feeding.  Shoot, my Mom didn't even get to attempt to breast feed me because of the doctor's ultimatum that her milk wouldn't be good since my sister had dropped weight.  But that was the early 80's, surely we've come further along and women know better. 

Maybe.  

But maybe we new moms are also incredibly vulnerable during this magical and yet extremely taxing time in our lives.  I'm choosing a midwifery birth center for lots of reasons, but certainly one of the reasons is, I will be further away from the pressure and temptation to have drugs, interventions, and be further away from the clock counting and dreaded "failure to progress" prognosis that has moved many a mom quickly into the operating room.  

A box of formula might not be so dramatic as that, but it also is.  

Here's why.

I'm stressed, I'm tired, and instead of calling up the lactation consultant, I say to my mother, "Go ahead and see if you can feed her.  There's a free bottle that Pea in the Pod dropped in my shopping bag and get that free box of Enfamil I was sent in the mail.  I'm tired, I'm going to sleep." OR  nobody wants to wake the new Mom so let's just make up that little bottle of newborn formula over in the corner and feed the baby to give her a break, after all, she did just go through labor.

It doesn't seem too dramatic and maybe sounds quite the opposite, but here's what's really happening in that situation.  

• The Baby is not bonding with me, from that essential skin to skin "laying in" period.  
• My body is not getting the nuzzling and nipple stimulation required to help bring in the full supply of milk- even the baby's cries help send signals to my brain to produce milk. 
• My body isn't being given the signal to help shrink my uterus back down and help heal itself, either.

 These are all PRETTY IMPORTANT objectives that don't just happen without the cause and effect that is supposed to happen when a mom gives birth.

I know certain medical conditions can interfere with breast feeding, work conditions can interfere with breast feeding, and lack of post natal support can greatly effect breast feeding, but I don't want the temptation from marketing campaigns to interfere with my journey into breast feeding my child.

So... Off to the Food Bank I go with this formula.  I really don't think it's something that needs to be in the house with a new Mom.  I live in suburban America.  In 10 minutes I can have my husband drive to the store and be back with 5 varieties of formula and 7 different kinds of bottles.  But you know what?  Even separating myself by that 10 minutes encourages me to be patient, keep trying, and call the midwife if I'm having trouble.  I want to be really good at this and naturally feel like I will be.  For a Tiny House future I know less is more and in this case, less interference, will mean more breastmilk for my baby.

If you're curious about studies, hormones, and breastfeeding limitations check out this article: Breastfeeding Limitations: Are some women incapable of breastfeeding? Are formula mothers neglectful?  Warning it is a particularly U.S. POV, but sites a lot of good further reading below.

If you're getting ready to breast feed here's my recommended bible: Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding.

A Weighty Topic

Normally... I weigh 150-155 which puts me in a size 6-8 and feeling confident in my bathing suit and yoga class.  Here's a shot of me and my hubs, Corbett Lunsford, at the Tiny House Builder's Workshop last April for perspective. The Tiny Human, btw, took root about a month later. :)

We don't know if we are going to have a boy or girl, but I've been dreaming about girls lately and I began to dread the topic of weight.  How am I going to talk to my daughter about it?  Maybe she wouldn't be fixated on it like I was, maybe society will respect women's bodies more by the time she's old enough.

Every female, young or old, has thought about weight.  When you become pregnant a whole new weight conversation comes up.  How much will you gain?  How much should you gain? What to eat when, so you don't gain too much weight, and so you don't have a "big" baby.

A close friend of mine chose to not know her weight gain.  She'd look away and told the doctor she only wanted to know if she and the baby we're doing well.  Smart lady.

At first I thought, I get it, but I'm really into nutrition, how the body works, and how the baby is growing, so I found weight gain in the first 2 trimesters to be fascinating!  I wouldn't gain an ounce for days and then suddenly 2 pounds!  It was confirmation to me that the baby was having growth spurts and doing well.  I really liked the knowledge.

But now, I really get it.  As I'm six weeks away from having this babe, I am coming close to tipping 200 and as they say, it's all baby (and boobs!)  I certainly feel the weight more,  walking, swimming, rolling over in bed, but I still feel great, so why are people talking to me even more about weight?  And why am I suddenly finding my mind obsessing over it?

I think it's because I'm near the end and people are...

• Afraid of "Big" babies and...
• They are worried that I'm going to have a hard time getting back to my pre-baby weight.

So let's talk about this.

"Big Baby"  

I totally understand that there are particular medical conditions that can cause weighty babies.  I also understand how being hooked up to IV's for hours and hours can add a tremendous amount of water weight to a baby, but in general I think our bodies are pretty good at managing the size, birth, and breastfeeding of the life it has the gift of creating.

Our modern medical culture has created a fairly hostile environment for birth rooted in fear and the language spoken by doctors. My least favorites are "Bloody Show," "Boggy Uterus," " Mucus," "Failure to Progress," and "Labor": they just perpetuate the self conscious, dirty, and dangerous subconscious.  Women not being capable of birthing their own babies because their bodies are not made to give birth is an anomaly, but in this day and age it has become a widespread notion.

"Pre Baby Weight"

Please NEVER utter the words "She looks good especially after X number of babies" or "She's surprisingly thin after 3 babies, but I guess she's running around after them so much."  People gain and lose weight for all kinds of reasons and it's really insulting that it could be surprising that a new mom could look great after having multiple babes.

I CANNOT speak from experience, yet... but I really think getting to my pre-baby weight won't be much of an issue.  WHY?  Because I'm an active, healthy person, who knows her body, knows what to eat to stay healthy, and will most importantly be breastfeeding.  Breast is best not just for baby.

Of course with all of this we'll see, but it's my choice, my body, and my baby.  So I encourage us all to stick to my smart lady friend's question "Is the momma good? Is the baby good?"  If so then great!  If not, then ask how you can help out, but hold back the opinions on weight with women young and old, let's talk about being "good" instead and relish in that.

Thanks for helping prep the world for my future daughter, if that's who shows up. ;)

Here's a link to an interview we did last week- 33 weeks pregnant in our growing Tiny House.

Here's the spot! Thanks 10News WTSP!http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/features/2015/12/10/couple-hopes-tiny-house-inspires-more-efficient-homes/77105142/
Posted by Grace and Corbett Lunsford on Friday, December 11, 2015

My Diaper Bag is my Co-sleeper

When you're preparing to have a baby, for the first time, there are so many considerations and so many items that you could get!  Moving into a 200 sqft Tiny House on Wheels means everything we bring into our life has to have purpose and hopefully more than one purpose or it goes.

I first saw this on Pintrest and thought "brilliant!"  We're going to be traveling around to 20 cities with a baby (www.ProofisPossible.com) and trying to build a schedule for nap-time is a bit of a joke.  I've also heard believing you can get a baby on any type of schedule is also a joke!

At first I thought this diaper bag would be a perfect fit because when we're bopping around I have the potential to put the baby down for a nap whenever the wee one is tired.

But now that I have the diaper bag (Thanks to one of my Elon besties!) I've learned the sides zip down perfectly and Viola!  One more use for this very versatile bag- a Co-Sleeper.  We're building a Tiny House, so building out a little lift for this bag to snuggle up to our bed before we hit the road is easy peezy!

Limitation breeds creativity!  Before you buy one of these and a co-sleeper and a changing table and a crib, just think it through one more time.  Do you really need all of it?  The answer could be YES and that is totally cool, but you might surprise yourself to think of how you can find multiple uses for one product.  Downsizing can begin mentally and save you a lot of time, money, and mental energy in the future.

My body- A Whole New World!

Did you like my fifth grade cliche?  It’s poignant because that’s when you’re supposed to begin learning about your body and the amazing things it can do like make a baby!  Here’s what I learned in my entire sexual health education. The anatomy breakdown.  That boys had to masturbate because they needed to but girls should never touch themselves “down there.” Periods had all kinds of great slang names like Aunt Flo and riding the cotton pony!  Being with a boy could make you pregnant so use a condom, or better yet use abstinence, and that my thighs didn’t have a space between them unless I forced them to hyper extend, so therefore I was fat.

Sound familiar?  I literally took a shower in high school immediately after making out with a boy who’s pants got wet and weirdly my pants were wet so...

OH DEAR GOD! AM I GOING TO BE PREGNANT???

Fast forward a good 15 years from that night, a couple rounds of different birth control pills from then, and find me getting rid of my implanon BC stick in my arm because for the first time I said, I think I do want to get pregnant.  My 10th anniversary gift to my husband were the words “Let’s try,” and so we did.

My wise childhood best friend who had been trying and was now pregnant from the miracle of IVF said "I’ll send you a book.  It will change your life."  It was called “Taking Charge of your Fertility” and it really did change my life.  

No, I didn’t get the book and then get pregnant hence the life change.  I read the book and got mad, really MAD.  I have had every opportunity given to me and am highly educated so I was mad that no one taught me any of what was in this book.  I had heard rumors along the way, but no hard information.  No real understanding of what was happening in my body for years and no real understanding of what my body was doing now.

It's still hard to believe that I was even in this place, but it's true. I have learned so much since! The next series of books to change my life are these. More on that later.

Being Cast in a Whole New Role!

Being pregnant opens you up to a world of conversations and opinions you’d never expect.  If you've been there you know what I'm talking about and if not I'm sure you've at least heard about it!

Being Pregnant and deciding to have a baby and downsize to 200 sqft opens you up to an even bigger world of opinions!  

I've been a working actress in Chicago for the last 13 years and am about to shake it all up for the best roll I've ever been cast in. Momma to Tiny Lunsford. Join me while I wade through them.  I’d love to hear your opinions too.  If I wasn’t open to conversation, exploration, and learning, I wouldn’t have started this blog.

While on the road we will be filming a TV show called HOME DIAGNOSIS, a webseries called Ms. TIny Detective, singing, and showing the movies I recently made.  Want to learn more and support the efforts?  ProofisPossible.com is where all the details are and you can help support it with a tax-deductible donation too.  Check it out.  The whole project is sponsored through Fractured Atlas. 
 THANKS!

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